Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
