Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
