He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
