Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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