hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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