P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Are we still banned from the library?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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