good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm just crazy horny about you
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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