wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
