I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
