Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
