I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
