No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
