I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
