So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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