He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
