I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
