So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
