Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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