she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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