guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
