im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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