Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
