the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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