I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
