Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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