walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
