Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
