then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
