just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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