Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
