sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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