I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize