Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Congratulations! We have a period
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