your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
