good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
