Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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