i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
