so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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