I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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