D3 body, D1 cock
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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