I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
