never play flip cup with pint glasses
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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