doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
