Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We left an ass print on the piano.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
