Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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