Small penises have feelings too.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
