I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
