His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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