Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
