he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
