my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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