It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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