I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
