Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
