I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Randomize
